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.stiff?" It's because of you Mrs. C," I told her. "I think about you a lot, you're so beautiful and all. Then I go to my room and take care of it, if you know what I mean." Oh I know exactly what you mean," she replied. "With my husband not touching me, the only way I get any pleasure at all is by masturbating."I couldn't believe I was having this talk with my neighbor. "Mrs. C?" Women have needs too Billy and we use the same methods that men do to meet those needs." Wow, I never realized," I confessed."Well if you could have one wish right now Billy, what would it be? And you can tell me anything. After what we have just been talking about, everything is on the table. So tell me, any wish, you can say it because this day never happened. Your wish will be our secret forever." What if it's about you and it makes you mad?" I asked."It's just a wish Billy, so nothing is going to make me mad," she assured me. "You can say anything at all and I'll be fine. Pretend you get one wish. What is. If we pushed it, we could jog there in a little over ten minutes. We somehow dragged it out to an hour.“How do you know The Spider and the Fly?” Tina asked.“How or why?“How? I read and re-read it, recited it line by line until I got it, just the same as Eskimo Nell.“Why? I just love rhymes and poems. I can’t sing for shite, but I do like the beat. My dad introduced me to a book called Verse and Worse when I was a kid. It was full of nonsense poems. Spider and the Fly was one of the first proper poems I learnt in my early teens. Then I discovered rugby songs and the rest is history.”“You do know you’re wrong though? The spider was male trying to seduce the lady fly.”“Oh, dear, did you not study biology? Male spiders are generally eaten by the female after doing their duty, it only stands to reason the spider so cunning and seductive is a woman.”We talked back and forth for about ten minutes, stopping often to argue points, before calling a truce and agreeing that without Mary Howitt’s.
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